Episode 1: Welcome to my inquiry project!

I have chosen to focus on navigating life during injury recovery. At first I thought this might be a good way to document my physical healing, but I am quickly realizing that in reality, it will be about a lot more than that. This injury has affected how I move, think, show up in life, and how I see myself.

Recovery has forced me to slow down in ways I did not choose. It has disrupted routines I relied on and brought up patterns in my relationship with training, food, productivity, and control that I had not really looked at before. Through this project, I want to take the time to learn from what I am going through instead of rushing to get back to normal. By documenting this process, I hope to better understand how injury impacts identity and mental health, and what it actually means to heal in a way that is supportive and sustainable.

My final goal is to create a video summarizing my journey from start to finish to share with my community!

The Hard Truth About my Injury

Running has been a central part of my life for the last few years. It is how I de-stress, how I challenge myself, and is a huge part of my life. It gives my days structure and my mind clarity.

Just over a year ago, I started to feel unbalanced in my life. Searching for direction, I decided I would put all my energy into becoming a better runner. Over time, that focus shifted into something unhealthy. I trained harder and fuelled less, convinced that pushing more and making myself smaller would lead to better results. And at first, I did see progress…until it started to spiral out of control.

The last year was a rollercoaster. Yes, I had some big achievements in running that I was proud of, but those achievements existed alongside significant lows that gradually began to affect every aspect of my life, including my running.

Over time, months of chronic under-fuelling and overtraining began to take a toll, and I ended up in RED-S, leaving my body without enough energy to support both training and basic function. That imbalance ultimately led to the injury that has me sidelined now.

Healing Up Until This Point

Healing so far has been confusing, exhausting, and anything but straightforward. I am 7 weeks in and in that time I have had multiple trips to the emergency room, each time hoping for clarity and each time leaving with more uncertainty. I received conflicting answers from different professionals and no clear diagnosis.

I went from crutches alone to then being given an air cast to go with the crutches. Initially, I was told to be non weight bearing for six to eight weeks. Then I was told maybe I should start testing it earlier. Recently, after a few intense pain flairs, it was suggested that the boot itself might be contributing to worsening symptoms and I should not use it anymore. I have been caught in an ongoing cycle of movement and no movement, never fully sure which is helping and which is hurting.

I have been given a cortisone injection, nerve medication, and multiple types of anti inflammatory medication. I have been attending physiotherapy, including laser treatment. I have had an x ray and a CT scan, but was told the CT scan was done too early in the injury to show potential bone damage. However, I was just accepted into a study being done by the Canadian Sport Institute at PISE where they are looking at athletes dealing with suspected Bone Stress Injuries and am getting a fast-tracked MRI next Thursday!

However, at this point, there is still no clear diagnosis. It could be a stress fracture, a ligament or tendon injury, or a combination of both. The pain flares unpredictably, sometimes without warning. At its worst, the intensity has brought me to tears. Not just from the pain itself, but from the frustration and helplessness that comes with not knowing what is wrong.

All of this has made navigating school and life incredibly difficult. I have struggled to attend classes consistently, to work, to teach, and to coach. Losing the ability to do the things that normally give structure and meaning to my days has been one of the hardest parts of this experience.

Lessons I Have Learned So Far

However, as challenging as this has all been, this injury has forced me to confront some uncomfortable truths. Each week I plan to update this list for lessons I have learned. This week’s lessons have been simmering over the last few weeks, but are perhaps the most important ones:

  • Short term success built on depletion comes at a high cost.
  • Smaller does not equal faster or stronger.
  • Constantly pushing without adequate rest and fuel is not sustainable.
  • And above all, when you lose the joy, you lose the point.

These lessons have been hard earned, but I am learning that strength is not always about pushing through, and that listening to my body is not weakness. It is necessary.

Weekly Progress

Each week I want to include some of the highs of this journey as well as any progress I feel like I have made.

This week brought two small but meaningful steps forward. I was able to go “swimming” for the first time since the injury, and I no longer need to wear the walking boot!

Swimming was not full laps or anything, but I was able to explore how my body felt in the water, which was amazing! It allowed me to reconnect with my body in a way that felt supportive instead of demanding. Losing the boot also felt symbolic, even though I know recovery is far from over, it feels like I am getting a bit of my freedom back.

These moments reminded me that progress does not have to be dramatic to matter.

Weekly Challenge

I also want to be honest about the realities of healing from a major injury. This week was unexpectedly hard. The lack of clear answers continues to trigger spiralling thoughts, especially during pain flares. One flare was intense enough that I had to leave school early again, which brought up a mix of frustration, fear, and helplessness. Each setback seems to carry its own emotional weight, not just physical pain. I would be lying if I said my mental health was sunshine and rainbows right now, but I am starting to have more good days than bad as time goes on.

Another thing I am learning is that I cannot do this alone. This week, I reached out to my coach when I felt overwhelmed. Having someone talk me down, remind me that pain flares do not equal failure, and help me zoom out made a huge difference. The advice was simple but grounding, to focus on what I can control, to take things one step at a time, and to trust that healing is still happening even when it does not feel like it.

I also found this great video on the mental side of injury recovery, including some mental tools for resilience. While I am not a varsity athlete, my sport is still a huge part of my life. I find watching videos like this, and others I have found, helps me feel less alone in what I am experiencing, realizing the fears, sadness, and anxiety is universal.

What Is Next

Thank you for tuning in for my first Blog post! In the next post, I will reflect on my experience getting an MRI and hopefully have some answers! I will also share what it feels like to move one step closer to clarity while still living inside uncertainty of timeline.

For now, this post marks the beginning of this inquiry. Healing is ongoing, imperfect, and slow, just like the learning.